The Words Unspoken
by jomarch05
Summary: The Words Unspoken Shows The Differences Between Us. What's left unsaid can always be misinterpreted. Charah with some help from Morgan & Anna. Ch 2 is with Devon & Ellie
1. The Words Unspoken

A/N - Takes place before Chuck vs the Marlin. No matter how much I wish it, Chuck really doesn't belong to me.

Anyway, I am beginning to realize that writing fanfic (like reading it) is addictive (go figure). I was working on Story 2 of "The End is only the Beginning" (to be called Chuck vs The Phantom Pain. It reads better than it sounds, really) when this idea pops into my head. I tried to incorporate it there but it seemed to be more stand alone. So hope you like it and please review/feedback.

Edited to add - I have reuploaded story to correct some errors.

The Words Unspoken Shows The Differences Between Us

20th January 2008

It started out innocuously enough, a proposed double date with Anna and Morgan to keep up appearances. Since it was one of those rare nights that Morgan's mom went for ballroom dancing lessons, it was decided that they'd meet at the Buy More and take one of the Herders to Morgan's place.

Not the most romantic of venues, although the sewer they hid in two weeks ago probably didn't rate as romantic either but he got to hold her hand through most of it and that made it great. So all in all, Chuck didn't mind it because it allowed him to spend time (which was becoming a precious commodity due to the missions and flashes and the lies) with his best bud. If he was being honest, it also allowed him to spend time with Sarah and not the vigilant cool secret agent Sarah but the girl beneath that, the one he wanted to tell all his secrets too. At least the ones that he hadn't already babbled during one of the many, many times he had tried to fill the silence between them.

For Sarah, it was an easier, less demanding outing that if it involved Ellie and Awesome. She had noticed Ellie scrutinizing her more, had seen the questioning looks the young doctor had give to Devon every time she tried to shy away from personal questions. Truth be told, where did you last spend thanksgiving wasn't the most personal of questions for normal people. So a night out with Morgan and Anna sounded fine, it meant not being too conscious of having to deflect personal questions and just really ensuring that Chuck was protected. It also allowed her so much insight into Chuck, not little Brother Chuck as deflecting questions about her childhood always made Ellie share stories about Chuck's, but more Best Friend Chuck, who would give his last dollar or sometimes more. Sarah was used to being around heroes, her line of work attracted them. They volunteered and expected the accolades for a job well done. Bryce used to frame his commendations, not that he could display them but he did it anyway. But Chuck was different. He had not asked for any of this, maybe if given the choice, he would have volunteered but Sarah knew that he would still not demand the attention. He'd just go about doing the best he could, like he did everyday since Bryce send him that email.

So here they were in Morgan's mom's house, eating take-out Mexican food and sharing a bottle of tequila which had been Sarah's contribution, knowing that a drunk Chuck would not recall if she showed him too much affection and knowing that she would regardless and lie to herself that it was for the cover. Anna was practically sitting in Morgan's lap while Chuck had his arm comfortably draped around her as they both sat on the sofa, eating off the same plate, she held between them.

"So you guys wanna play a game?" Anna looks coyly at Morgan as she voices the question.

What kind of game?" Morgan asks (it 's like they've rehearsed this somehow), a smile forming.

"It's not spin the bottle, is it?" a hopeful note entering Morgan's voice. He knows what Anna is going to suggest. Actually what they both plan to suggest in order to help Chuck. Not that Chuck really needs much help but when your best friend tells you that he's not sure his super HOTT (yes it really needs the caps and the additional t) girlfriend may not be totally into him, well, Morgan just needed to prove him wrong. Chuck was the best and for once, a smart and beautiful girl recognized that and Morgan saw the way Sarah looked at Chuck, especially when he didn't notice. Her eyes would soften and well. Morgan just knew she was the one. Jill was never really the one and although she was good to look at, she was never really beautiful on the inside.

Chuck almost spits out the salsa laden chip at Morgan's comment and Sarah tries to hide her smile as she rubs his back, suddenly realizing this is what high school should have felt like. Her smile turns bittersweet as she does remember what it was really like for her.

"No silly" Anna leans into Morgan giving him a kiss "We don't need a bottle." Pretty soon, Morgan's got her fully sitting in his lap, her hands grasping at his shirt and they're kissing open mouth like it's their last or first kiss, depending on if you asked Sarah or Chuck

Sarah's slightly envious of the way Anna goes for what she wants, romantically speaking of course. On all other levels, Sarah, the adult Sarah, always got all she wanted.

Chuck's just trying not to look, not that he didn't have a front row seat at the Buy More everyday. This was different though. If Sarah were really his girlfriend, he'd ignore Morgan and Anna and just compete head to head with them, knowing that if he really kissed Sarah, he would never stop. So he clears his throat and reaches for his glass, hoping that it would be enough to distract the other couple. He doesn't notice Sarah's wistful glance.

Morgan does though and slowly pulls out of the kiss, "Sorry buddy" he smiles both for Chuck's benefit and Anna's. "So Anna. What game were you thinking of?" he continues, just like they planned.

"Well it a couple's game where one couple (Anna points to Morgan and herself), has to ask as question about either one of the other couple and then the other couple has to answer together at any time. You get a point if the answers are similar and if they're not, you drink (she downs a shot to demonstrate) and you get to ask the questions to the other couple.

Chuck can feel Sarah tense and is about to decline when she surprises him with her answer "Fine but Chuck and I haven't known each other long while you and Anna have"

"True, I have a wonderful rolodex of Anna Banana information but alas the same cannot be said for her" Anna nods vehemently at that statement, enough to convince Sarah that losing wouldn't compromise their cover and maybe, just maybe she'd surprise Chuck.

"Ok, then, we'll ask the first question" Morgan jumps up, one hand tapping his chin, the other still playing with Anna's hair. He looks down at Anna winks and asks "How many days since you first met?"

Chuck knows the answer, it'd be 118 days today and although he knows it's sad that he keeps count, he can't help it. Each passing day is a day further away from where he wants to be with Sarah, especially after Bryce's return. All he wants is to hold her and not feel like she's only doing it for the cover. He wants to be able to tell her about his day and actually get to hear about hers. He knows each day, he realizes just a little more that he can't have what he wants. He's just counting up to when she'd leave.

Sarah looks at the date on her watch and does the calculation in her head. It's been 118 days since she met Chuck Bartowski and each day she gets closer and closer to revealing her feelings for him. She's tried to keep them at bay, spent hours admonishing herself for actually contemplating a relationship with an asset. She needs more time to get use to the idea of him, someone caring and sweet and innocent. She knows each day, she getting just a little bit closer to accepting that this is something she really wants.

She smiles at him. She does not know that Chuck calls that smile the Spinal Tap as it really does go to eleven.

She nods and together they say "118 days".

Morgan grins back and its Anna's turn to ask "What's Sarah's favorite color?"

Red he remembers, the memory still fresh. They had been sitting outside the Wienerlicious, she was nursing a small cut under her right eye and looked distracted when she answered. They were supposed to be on their one-month anniversary date, as Ellie insisted it needed to be commemorated. Unfortunately, he had flashed on a Ukraine drug smuggler the night before. That made Casey the happiest of the three of them that night. So he had to forgo lunch the next day and concoct fake dinner conversation in order to report to Ellie that the date had gone smoothly and he had taken her advice and learnt as much about Sarah as he could. The only problem was that he really didn't know if it was the truth. She wore so many colors, all flattering to her skin tone but red always stood out for him. It was his favorite color on her, without a doubt and even if it was a lie, it was the lie she wanted him to believe.

Sarah liked to win and she knew Morgan did too, so she was surprised that they were going to score another point. She had already told Chuck what her favorite color was. She remembered that day. Chuck was babbling on about the Ellie Inquisition and she'd make sympathetic noises at relevant intervals knowing that he just needed to talk. She, on the other hand, was still trying to decompress from the night before. Chuck's flash had led them to a heroin smuggling ring working out of an auto shop. Chuck had stayed in the car, for once and they had managed to take down the three guys inside. She had left Casey to finish up and was making her way back when she saw a fourth man slowly taking aim at Chuck. Her knife was out and thrown even before she had taken her next breath. Chuck didn't know and Sarah wouldn't tell him. It was her job to protect him and that was what she did. So when he casually asked her about her favorite color, she said red, without even thinking. She had nearly lost him the night before and if he wanted to know some small piece of her, she had to share that at least, as she would never be able to share the more difficult parts of her job.

This time, Chuck took her hand and squeezed it gently and again, in unison, they said "Red".

"Damn, I think we're in for a game here, son" Morgan was surprised but still pleased. Anna had told him she was sure Chuck didn't know what color Sarah liked but he wasn't sure and it was nice to see Chuck show some PDA for Sarah for once.

"Ok, next question, What is the Chuckster's all time favorite movie?" Morgan was a bit afraid to go for the big one so early on. However, he had faith in Sarah, she had to know which movie to pick. He wrapped his hands around Anna's torso and held here close, hoping that Sarah really knew Chuck.

Sarah cocked her head and looked at Chuck. Bryce had mentioned in passing about him once. How he had a roommate in college that was just a good nerdy guy but whom just didn't have the luck. Naturally, Bryce conveniently left out getting him kicked out of college or stealing his girl but that was the way he was. Always only sharing his side of the story. So she'd known he was a nerd before she met him and continued to discover just how big a nerd he was although the video games and comics books were big hints. But she also had viewed his DVD collection and between Firefly and Doctor Who, she saw copies of Il Postino and On the Waterfront. Instinctively though, she knew that it would have to be a sci-fi type of movie. Star Wars, (Ok, if she remembered, more specifically, it would have to be The Empire Strikes Back but episodes three and four would be contenders), Dune and Blade Runner were her best bets. Then it hit her, this was Chuck, not Morgan or Bryce or her dad. Chuck thought differently, he wouldn't have a favorite movie unless it meant more to him than just a form of entertainment. It would have to be meaningful in some way. Ellie had told her in passing once that their dad had never really been there for them. Ok, it seemed like it was in passing from Ellie's viewpoint but Sarah was a trained interrogator and she had felt a need to know about the enigma that was Charles Irving Bartowski. The files she read didn't do him justice and the picture she was beginning to assimilate scared her in that it made her feel. so much in such a long time However, the one thing their dad had done for Chuck was introduce him to movies that came out the year of his birth and the first one was Tron. Sarah knew that Chuck wouldn't shy away from the memory even if it were difficult. He was a good man who would always do the right thing not because he was asked to but because he knew it was right. She hoped that her answer was correct and that she really knew Chuck not as an asset but as a friend and hopefully more.

Chuck was surprised by Morgan's question. It was a difficult one to answer not the least because even Ellie wouldn't have guessed it. His sister loved him unconditionally but she would never understand why he would surround himself with things that were a constant reminder of hurtful events. His Tron poster was one and watching Tron with Morgan every year was the other. Ellie never knew the reason Morgan would come over on the anniversary of his dad's departure but she learnt to expect it and helped him move forward the next day. Morgan was the only one who knew what the movie meant to him. That even though it could be looked at as a reminder of what he had lost, he could also view it as an introduction to something special like his first viewing of it with his dad. Sarah couldn't possibly divine this from any of their talks. He babbled incessantly but his parent were not a topic he would touch. She wasn't there to get to know him (hurts and all). Her job was to protect the asset, not get to know the man. He was resigned to doing a shot and reached out to grab a glass, only to stop short as he felt Sarah's hand on his wrist.

He looked up and saw the questioning look in her eyes but still could not believe that she would know the answer. Bu he couldn't deny her the chance, not when she was looking at him wit those eyes. So he took a deep breath and together, they said "Tron".

Morgan's whoop surprised Chuck as much as Sarah's answer. He couldn't believe that the government knew about his love for Tron. He was happy to see Sarah laugh at Morgan's reaction but knew that she was a quick study and he was the proverbial bug under the big microscope of the United States government. Sarah had probably been told early on about Tron and about his father. He sighed inwardly knowing that he'd lost another chance to share part of himself with her.

Sarah wasn't sure what had changed. Chuck was smiling but she could see a wistfulness settle over him, like he was resigning himself to something. On the other hand, she felt elated at the fact that she had finally found out something about Chuck that she did not have to memorize from a file. That she deduced the type of man he was and his favorite movie due to spending 118 days with him and that she really wanted to find out more (if he'd let her).

So the game went on, Sarah and Chuck finally losing on "What is Sarah's favorite Swear word?" (Chuck's pretty sure it wasn't legal to say it in some states). The game's at 13 to 9 in their favor when Chuck sees Sarah staring at him. He feels self-conscious and has to force himself to not touch his face to see if he has dip on his cheek. In the end, he thinks she tired of the act and wants to go back to her room and become Sarah Walker, super spy. He never really considers the toll all this acting would take on her. It must be hard to talk to people like Anna and Morgan and even harder to pretend you like it. Worse yet, it's probably the most difficult to always have to be Chuck's girl especially after having been Bryce's. He thinks he should be considerate though, so he signals to Morgan to stop. He slowly rises and begins to pick up the trash, missing the fleeting look of disappointment on Sarah's face, before her features settle back.

Sarah only began to realized she'd been staring at Chuck on and off for the past five minutes when she keeps having to turn to acknowledge Anna's comments on her shoes. She hasn't had this much fun in sometime and wishes that it would last just a bit longer so that she wouldn't have to go back to her room, alone again. If it wasn't for Chuck, she would never have had to meet Anna and Morgan and it would have been a waste. They aren't brilliant people or were destined for great things (the same couldn't be said about Chuck. He could do anything) but they're good and kind and that had always been lacking in her life, so to be immersed in it now, was like a blessing. However, Sarah knows how protective Chuck can be and he's right to want to minimize their interaction with her. He still does not trust her, not after seeing her with Bryce so it's up to her to work on it.

They drive back in relative silence each lost in their own thoughts. She walks him to his door(another thing that highlights the difference between this and a real relationship).

"Thanks for tonight, I had fun" She can say so much more but knows its not the right time and she's not that brave or ready.

"Really? I was going to apologize and possibly get you some chocolates" He wants to ask if she really had fun or if that was just CIA speak for at least I didn't draw my gun and shoot your moronic friends.

"Really" she smiles coyly, kisses him on the cheek and turns to leave "Chocolates would still be nice though".

The End


	2. Shows The Differences Between Us

**A/N - I always wanted to revisit this premise but never had a good idea how until I saw Chuck vs the Breakup recently. Tell me if it's any good. Also thanks to DLK for betaing this for me. Have been totally swamped at work so this is the only thing I've written in a while. Sorry for the wait if you're reading the other stories. Hope you at least like this one.**

**Words Unspoken Shows the Differences Between Us II**

**Silverlake, CA, 17****th ****October 2008**

"So, the little bearded man says you two are awesome at this game?" Devon's decked out in Bermudas and a madras shirt, bottle of beer in one hand, with the other casually draped around Ellie. It's after nine and the four of them had just finished one of Ellie's amazing home cooked meals. They had spent most of the dinner discussing the upcoming wedding and after dessert, Ellie had proclaimed a moratorium on further wedding talk as they adjourned to the living room.

Chuck's sitting on the floor next to Sarah, who's leaning back against the sofa, seemingly lost in her own thoughts. There are only inches separating them, but it could translate into miles considering the place they are at in their relationship, or, more accurately, the lack thereof. He wants to reach out and take her smaller hand into his, but knows that although he can do it under the pretext of their cover, his feelings are still so raw from the pseudo break-up a few days ago. He's not even sure he could label it a break-up considering they were never really together in the first place. One almost real date, another aborted definitely real date, a soul searing kiss and knowing looks did not a relationship make. Even though if Chuck was being honest with himself, it always felt like one to him.

"We're not that great," Sarah smiles softly, finally placing her hand on top of Chuck's arm. She's never fully appreciated how important timing was. She's always acknowledged its value in her profession, but she had no use for it in her private life. Until eighteen months ago, there wasn't really much difference between the two anyway. However, ever since she met Chuck, she's beginning to realize that although they fit together, they have never moved forward at the same pace, starting from their impetuous kiss last year. She had always been sure that Chuck wanted her until their talk a couple of days back. She's not familiar with normality, and in the end, she has to come to terms that he desires it more than he desires her.

"But we do ok." She turns to smile at Chuck, hoping that he understands that she is still fine with carrying on their cover. She has always been used to working through pain, be it physical or emotional and this should be no different despite its sheer intensity pressing down upon her.

"It's not going to be fair, though, because we're still new at all of this and you guys are getting married." Chuck's not in the mood to carry on the charade tonight. He's still reeling from their talk; not because he regrets it but because he has to come to terms with the fact that saving Sarah would always mean not being able to be with her. He never wants to be responsible for her death and he can understand Bryce's fear that she'll eventually have to sacrifice herself for him. Chuck knows that he needs her to feel less invested in his well being so that she'll survive this assignment. He'll trade his happiness for her life any day.

"Fine, so we'll stick to questions about stuff that happened in the past year for you guys. Come on little brother, you're not afraid of some competition are you?" Ellie's always been curious about Sarah and her reticence about herself and her background. It's not that she finds Sarah fake but more of an enigma. She's definitely smart and apparently well traveled, even more so than Devon. She has a great sense of style and drives a Porsche. All that just did not gel with a lowly paying job at the Orange Orange, or even the Wienerlicious for that matter. She had asked Chuck about it once and he had mumbled something about an inheritance and a rich reclusive father.

Chuck can feel the weight of Sarah's hand on his and her smile touches something within him such that he relents to Ellie's pleas. "Ok" He nods at his sister and accepts Awesome's high five. "You guys want to ask us a question first?" He figures that the sooner they lose, the sooner they could give their excuses and Sarah could leave. He's a glutton for punishment to still want to spend as much time with her as possible but he is beginning to understand that she'll start to close herself off again and this time, he'll have to let her.

"Great." He sees Ellie lean towards Awesome, their heads almost touching as they discuss their first question. Sarah is surprised to see a wistful look on Chuck's face and as much as she would like to offer some sort of assurance or comfort, she knows that he has made it clear that it is not something he is looking for with her.

"So, our first question is, which was your favorite restaurant in the past year for a date?" Ellie's never been able to get much information out of Chuck regarding his dates with Sarah, though she knows that he's spent more time with her than he has with Morgan in the past year.

It's a fifty-fifty guess in Chuck's mind mainly because he's only really gone on two dates with Sarah. To be honest, the first one counted for him but probably not for her while the second one had ended in Sarah almost being hurt because he had asked her to have a real date with him and she didn't bring her gun. He had been honest with her, though, about his feeling for her at that restaurant and although he's rescinded them now, he'll never forget what it was like to tell her the truth.

Sarah remembers him feeding her dumplings and the fact that she had fought against her ingrained reticence to actually tell him that he was indeed fantastic. The food had been surprisingly good but the only thing she will never forget was the way he had looked at her as he leaned in.

"Umm" Chuck looks at her, a wry smile on his face and she nods before she answers in sync with him, "Century Dragon."

"A Morgan recommendation?" It wasn't that she was expecting a nicer restaurant, but Ellie had always assumed that it would be a more romantic location than the local corner Chinese place that Morgan always frequented when he wasn't looking for sizzling shrimp. She sees Sarah blush, though, and the faraway look in her brother's eyes and realizes that ambiance and food really don't rate compared to the couple's memories.

"Ok, babe, we need to bring our A game now." Devon only interest in the game is to support Ellie's quest to find out if things were really ok between Chuck and Sarah. She had almost had a panic attack when he casually noted that Sarah had looked out of sorts a few days ago. He hopes that this will prove to her that Sarah really does love Chuck and vice versa. He already has a question in mind and winks at Ellie before asking it. "Most memorable make-up after a fight."

Sarah can see Devon's mischievous look and Chuck's wide eyed panicked one as he looks down at his hands. It's actually a pretty simple question to answer in her mind as she recalls with almost eidetic precision the searing kiss they had shared on the docks. If she had known it would be their first and last kiss, her subsequent actions would have been so very different. She does not like the feel of regret that washes over her and she slides her hand down to clasp his.

Chuck's held her hands and wrapped her in his arms, most times to shore up their cover . He knows this in his mind, but he also knows that in his heart, he had always wished for it all to be real. The one time she had shown him both her anger and passion had also been the only time. He feels her hand reach down for his and knows she's acting while he's reverted back to wishing this moment could be real. He'll never forget the kiss they shared, not because it had been their only one but because it had made him realize that he loved her and would do anything for her, even at the expense of his own happiness.

She finally feels Chuck respond as she brings their clasped hands onto her lap and she takes a breath before answering, "The docks." at the same time Chuck utters, "Umm dockyard?"

"Way to go, Chuck, my man." Devon raises his hand, expecting a high five only to lower it when he sees Sarah duck her head, the tips of her ears turning red and Chuck's introspective look. He glances over at Ellie and can see that she is as confused as he is with respect to the mixed signals both Chuck and Sarah are currently sending. Their answers are so in sync, but their current physical interaction is more awkward than usual.

"Ok, I really need to get that visual out of my head so my next question is Chuck's most romantic gesture." It's not the most fair of questions for Chuck, but Ellie's really only looking for insight into Sarah. She can see that Sarah does have feelings for her brother and Chuck wears his emotions so plainly that it's a moot point as to how he really feels. However, she's not sure if Sarah can see just how much Chuck has fallen for her.

For the longest time, the memory that had stuck with Sarah the most was when she was thirteen and Billy Connolly had faced his mom's wrath by giving her a rose from her prized garden. Then Bryce had surprised her with tickets to Cabo because of their six month anniversary and the memories they made there sustained her for the longest time. She never expected any grand gestures from Chuck, not because she thought he wasn't capable of them, but that he never needed to prove himself to her.

However, she can't answer the question. It's not because she cannot think of any gestures but because there are so many to choose from. He didn't leave her when the bomb was about to go off or the time when he had to swing down from the Buy More roof to save her life. He had given up his normal existence to help his country and had put his life on the line not only for Ellie or herself but for absolute strangers. It broke her heart because she could never reveal any of it. Her eyes shine bright, not with happiness but with tears, and she has to blink a few times to control herself.

Chuck wonders if giving up what you wanted most of all, beyond all measure, counts as a romantic gesture, especially if it resulted in not being able to have the relationship that he had dreamt of for so long. Bryce's words still echo so clearly in his mind that he will never forget the fact that Sarah is already predisposed to save him and any more vested interest on her part would put her life in even greater danger. He looks at her profile and wishes that things were different.

Sarah turns to look at Chuck and knows that they can't answer the question together. His eyes though are still so expressive that she can see that he does care for her. However, their conversation at the fountain is burned into her memory and she knows that what he had always craved and what he deserves is a normal life. A life which she just cannot provide. She does not realize her hand is raised until she sees him lean into her touch.

If there was ever a time to feel like a voyeur, Ellie would pick this exact moment as she looks at her brother and his girlfriend. It's the current tableau which finally convinces her that sometimes words are unnecessary because the duo's unspoken connection shines through so brightly.

"You know, I think we're going to pass on that question. So I guess the score is just two points to us." He's not completely sure but he thinks that Sarah's just as affected by the question as he is and that it's probably because her basis of comparison would include Bryce and, try as he might, he's never measured up in his mind. She had told him once that he had but, to be fair, he's always thought it had been the concussion talking that day at the hospital.

"Actually, if it's ok, I think I'm going to go home. It's getting kind of late." She looks at Chuck as she says this, hoping that he'll understand that she needs the time to reacclimate herself to their old roles of Asset and Handler. That even though he's always thought of her as the strong one, his words at the fountain had decimated her and she needs the time to recover. She does not blame him for his honesty, instead understanding that he's being kind and fair to her by telling her the truth.

"Yeah, and Sarah's still recovering anyway." He would give anything to never have to see her lying hurt in a hospital bed ever again. He knows it's not a promise he can ever make with any certainty, but that he does have a role to play to ensure that he would not be the reason for her death.

"Sure, I hope you feel better and you need to give us a chance to see if we're as good as you with the game."

Ellie still cannot decipher their silent communication layered over the words that they say to each other, but what worries her more is the fact that she's pretty sure that both Sarah and Chuck sometimes misconstrue their meaning as well. She knows that they do have a bond and that it's always being tested, but she just hopes that they'll start talking before it breaks.

She sees her brother help Sarah up and the way her hand automatically curls around his. She sees him hold her coat out and how Sarah tucks her hair behind her ear when he smiles at her as he opens the door. She sees the look of longing that Sarah gives him when he turns away to let her through, as well as Chuck's look of hope when her hand brushes his back. Ellie sees all of it and hopes that one day they will see it all too.

**The End**

**Thanks for reading!**


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